Mercy Njoki - Natafuta (www.google.com/+CTA101)

Mercy Njoki - Natafuta
Written By Mercy Njoki
Produced By Jaaz "That Guy" Odongo
Mixed & Mastered By Jaaz "That Guy" Odongo @ SoundMind Studio
MWAPI Entertainment
Music With A Positive Influence
CTA - Cleaning The Airwaves

Last year, after launching an album and going underground almost 2yrs prior, I felt God tell me it was time to go back to music. I didn't know how, in what way or set-up... but I was sure I was going back to music.

My relationship with music however, was and has been strained. I often wondered what was wrong with me and I'm sure quite a number of people wondered to. There were so many people (even today) wondering WHY my music was not out there, WHY I seemed so indifferent, WHY I wasn't pushing... AND I WONDERED THE SAME!

I LOVE MUSIC... I always have... I love it when the keyboard is played, loveeeee the acoustic guitar, love when it all comes together with the bass and electric and the drums kick in! I LOVE IT! I hear a tune and instinctively start to hum, lyrics come at the drop of a hat! I love holding a microphone and "singing", it sinks deep into the very essence of who I am... I actually LOVEEEEEEEE music and being a musician.

But I haven't been proactive about it, and even I wondered why. Why was I shying away from this, why am I not eating and breathing music, pursuing it relentlessly, why am I not working hard at this, what is wrong?? Am I not supposed to be doing music? YET I know God has gifted me and I KNOW that there is calling somewhere in this...it has been a VERY frustrating place to be in.

BUT GOD has been growing me. He has brought people my way who have facilitated my getting perspective and learning. I am discovering who I am and what I am about. I am discovering something we often talk about and even speak of (although I wonder if we really understand it). I am discovering PURPOSE... and along with it has come a surge of energy and enthusiasm to do music decidedly and passionately... a determination that I have never had before in my life! I don't want to be good, I want to be the best, I want to spend sleepless nights in a studio somewhere or on a stage/ platform/ pulpit somewhere or on the road, or in the air, because I'm headed somewhere to sing, to do "music"! I am excited and determined and fired up!!

And now I get it, why I couldn't just be excited and put all my time and energy into music before. Because music is not who I am. Music in and of itself is not what I live for. I have discovered (and I'm still discovering) that my passion, what tugs at my heart is where there is pain and deception. Particularly, the social situation of things, the pain experienced in childhood that translates into one's life as an adult, what parents did or are doing and how it's affecting the kids (the home situation is SO bad these days!), the unmarried couples who get into unthought out commitments ending up in huge heartache and sometimes a child or two. What kind of life, influence will that child have? The people hurting looking for solace in another's arms or the bottle or some drug... the marriages where there is so much abuse or even something as subtle as simply no love... no care, no attention, no time... it's all PAIN. The young people today who somehow seem to just be floating through life with no-one sober-minded to talk to, or look-up to. These are the things that are tugging at my heart, all day, everyday!!

I now know that my calling is to spread the message of order, of truth, of healing... of how God intended things to be. So music is not who I am... it is the staff in my hand. It is what I use to spread a message of grace and love, it is what creates platforms for the message of God's order to be spoken of, of healing, of sobriety, of truth. It is what makes me someone that a young girl somewhere can look up to or a young professional somewhere can listen to. It is the staff in my hand.

... and now that I know what I am about and what my purpose is, as God enables me, I am plugging into my God-given gift/calling in music and trusting God to open doors as He sees fit, to equip me and be my guide, to teach me, anoint me, skill me, divinely connect me and sustain me. I am purposing to work hard, to pursue this relentless and to be the best.

Now that I know what I am about, I'm ready...